I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize