from now on my penis is your penis
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
