WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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