i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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