i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
