How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
