I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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