lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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