just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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