why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
