We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
