You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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