I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
