It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
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