Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
