HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
