just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
