I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
