The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
