are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
