You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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