Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
