"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
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