Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
