girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
