Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And my parents said I crawled through the house
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
