So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
