My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
