The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
