dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
