Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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