Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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