i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
