Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
