How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
