Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
