You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
