the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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