He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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