when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
