it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
