I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
