it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
