your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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