This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
