Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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