I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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