PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i think my tv is drunk
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
