he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
