hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
